Sunday, November 10, 2013

Bullies Be Gone

I was watching Aziz Ansari’s “Buried Alive” stand up for the third time the other day (once live and twice on Netflix) and found myself laughing again at his bullying jokes. Ansari takes the topic seriously as he recalls how horrendous the documentary on bullying was. 
            The documentary entitled “Bully” is in fact pretty terrifying. The audience watches as several bullied children tell their parents who proceed to tell administrators what is happening only to have their fears unanswered and their children’s problems unresolved.
            The bullies proceed to be physically violent, which I thought all of America was zero tolerant of and say the most disturbing things. The children of the corn say less terrifying things and that’s from Steven King’s mind.
            I’ll admit while Ansari’s account of the film had me in tears of the hilarious variety the documentary had me in tears of the forlorn variety. 
            Unless you are Marcia Brady, you have also probably been teased or bullied at some point in life. People are always going to talk, so give them something good to talk about I always say. However I never found the things those bullying losers said to be so despicable that I would commit suicide.
Let the records show that the only time a bully got physical with me I was physical in return and was never picked on again. There was also an interesting time in high school when the majority of the JV football team decided it would be funny to roll houses, mine being one of them, and I decided to get more than even in ways I will refrain from mentioning here out of respect for my parents and law enforcement officials.
Basically we all get bullied because “haters gunna hate” but my fellow shot callers of the Island University more than likely know how to handle things from there.
            What is probably more disturbing than child bullies choking out their victims, is the fact that grown men making bank in the NFL are also bullies. How do you fight against a 300 plus pound bully who claims to be on your team and represents your colors and all the while is breaking you down and throwing your game off?
 For Miami Dolphins player Jonathan Martin the answer was a complete mental breakdown.  The saddest part about the whole debacle is that Richie Incognito aka Dolphins bully is finding himself with supporters on and off his team. Those unaware of Incognito’s bully style should know he was ranting off racial slurs to Martin via voicemail. Take it from a scientist Incognito- evolve or die.
The NFL is trying to claim this sort of thing rarely, if ever, occurs amongst its teams but something tells me very few big burly football players have the courage to come out and be honest about it.
How sad that someone with so much talent (which is an oxymoron when referring to the Dolphins) money and impressionable fans would bully a teammate on something as ridiculous as race. Last I checked the year was 2013 and our Commanding Officer and Chief is a man of color and culture.
Perhaps if we paid NFL players based on their final fantasy stats they would not have enough time to worry about hating and in turn would focus on their own game. To all the bullies out there I have but two words- bye Felicia.

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